Hot Rock Ricky needs a princess, Cannington – 38

Oi you. Yeah you. Sitting there deleting your history like that will save you. You did not land here by accident. You are here because boring blokes bore the absolute fuck out of you.

I am Hot Rock Ricky. I make music. I chase chaos. I laugh too loud. I have more bad ideas than sense. I do not want your real name. I do not want your life story. I want the spark that makes you grin and think fuck it why not.

What I already know about you
You have a respectable side but right now you are wearing the knickers that could tell war stories
You swear you are done with dickheads but safe is not your flavour
You delete your browser history like it is a part time job

What you will get from me
Questionable decisions that you will never regret only repeat
Banter filthier than your search history
A story you will never tell anyone sober but will replay in your head grinning

What I bring
A laugh that will have your legs shaking harder than a nightclub speaker
More red flags than a music festival but twice as fun
The kind of chaos you will never find on Tinder

This is not romance. This is a moment so wrong it feels right. A secret that will live rent free in your head forever.

So yeah. Stop scrolling. Reply. Let us give each other a story worth lying about.